


Forgot (Gollum)

by kathkin



Series: A Few Notes in the Song of Creation (a Lord of the Rings Dæmon AU) [12]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 12:26:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14894624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathkin/pseuds/kathkin
Summary: “What was she?” / “She?” / “Your dæmon. I know you had one.”





	Forgot (Gollum)

**Author's Note:**

> a) Wikipedia on [dæmons](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%A6mon_\(His_Dark_Materials\)).
> 
> b) [Ground rules for this AU](http://penny-anna.tumblr.com/post/174266827343/ground-rules-for-d%C3%A6mon-au).
> 
> c) See end notes for dæmon key!

“What was she?”

Gollum looked at him, eyes large and very pale in the moonlight. “She?”

“Your dæmon,” said Frodo. “I know you had one.”

Gollum looked away, out over the still waters of the marshes.

“ _Was_ she a she?” said Frodo, for he of all people ought to know better than to presume.

“She,” said Gollum. “Yes.”

“What was she?” Frodo said again.

For a long while Gollum didn’t speak and Frodo was sure he wouldn’t – couldn’t – answer. Then he said, “small – wriggling in the water – a voice like the river.”

“A fish?” guessed Frodo.

“Not a fish,” Gollum spat, seemingly offended.

“A –” Frodo thought better of saying _worm_. Something that lived in water, but not a fish. “A frog? A newt?”

Gollum sniffed. He smacked his lips. “Newt. Yes. We had a newt.”

Frodo looked over his shoulder. Sam slept soundly, Harebell beside him, so still her tail didn’t as much as twitch. 

He would not speak of such things, if he thought there was any chance Sam was listening. Sam wouldn’t understand and Frodo had no desire to explain.

“Where did she go?” he said. “Were you separated, or –” Those eyes turned upon him like lamps, big and hollow. “Or did the precious take her?”

Gollum was not like the Black Riders; whatever had become of his dæmon had not been so final as to leave that gaping, woundlike void. 

He and Gentian, by mutual agreement, did not speak of what had almost happened to them after Weathertop. They did not even think of it, for it was unthinkable. But now he made himself think it. 

Gentian sat upon his wrist. His wings, that had steadily twitched in thought, went still.

Looking at the water once again, Gollum said, “gone away.”

“Gone away where?” said Frodo.

Gollum, his voice a muttering growl, said a single word that Frodo could not make out.

“What did you say?”

Looking at them, his sparse teeth on display, Gollum said, “Dust.”

“Dust,” said Frodo. “What does that mean, dust?”

“Gone away,” said Gollum again. “Left Sméagol alone. Poor, poor Sméagol.”

“Poor Sméagol,” Frodo echoed, meaning it. To be without her – but still alive – it was – “What was her name?”

“Her name?” Gollum repeated.

“Her name,” said Frodo. “What was her name?”

Gollum pressed his lips together and closed his eyes tight in deep thought. “Forgot. Sméagol forgot.”

“I am sorry,” said Frodo. Gentian flitted from his wrist, dancing through the air towards Gollum, meaning to offer a little comfort.

Gollum’s hand darted out, quick as a diving fish but Gentian was quicker. He was behind Frodo in a heartbeat and Frodo scrambled back on his hands over the wet ground, his heart racing.

He ought to have known better. Gollum had tried to lay hands on Harebell once already, out of malice or longing for his own, lost dæmon Frodo didn’t know. He ought to have known better than to let his guard down.

He knew he should say something, some admonishment, for there was bad behaviour and _intolerable_ behaviour, but he could find no words. Gollum’s eyes were no longer bright and they gazed at Gentian’s fluttering little body with a fearful hunger.

Frodo sat, not taking his eyes off Gollum, fearing even to blink until his pulse slowed. He struggled to his feet and Gentian settling on his shoulder he went to sit by Sam, to rest.

**Author's Note:**

> Dæmons in this fic:
> 
> **Frodo and Gentian:** [pale tussock moth](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calliteara_pudibunda#/media/File:Calliteara_pudibunda.jpg).  
>  **Sam and Harebell:** [red cocker spaniel](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Bojars%27s_english_cocker_spaniel.jpg).  
> 


End file.
